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    September 29

    溯源情结

    东爱中,莉香非要回丸子的家乡。她觉得丸子里美三上有一个共同的过去,而自己是新来的,大概总有无法融入的纠结。我不喜欢听我男人的高中同学的事(当然尤其女人!),总觉得他那么喜欢他们,而我与其无关,他们有自成体系的我无法加入的封闭生活圈。那些女人先于我了解他,似乎我还应该叫她们前辈呢。。。所以几乎只有两种极端,要么完全加入,要么绝对打压。我只能选后者。这个问题在我心中长久潜伏,所以前几天还做了类似的梦。心之重负甚矣如斯。
    溯源情结是我自己总结的经验论理论。两个原本不认识的人,曾走的是两条毫无关系的道路,后来突然纠结与一起。人似乎特别地非要地在不相干的过去中找出彼此的痕迹,为现在的一切寻找合理性宿命性。仿佛一切都是注定的。仿佛千里伏线早有伏笔。这种情结在女人身上特别明显。
    本来以为只是依赖性比较强的东方女性的专利。后来发现老友记的一集,P竟然也提到自己因为和其他五个人没有早年的关系而有疏离感,并努力寻找自己与ROSS的早年关系。我忽然理解,原来这是全人类的共同情结。

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